Getting personal

Taking inventory of my life: relationships

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I had a feeling that I am due for another spring cleaning. Not of my room or closet, but my life. To be more specific, I felt the need to clean out the relationship section of my life.

I blocked two people men in the past two weeks. It seems most of the individuals I have issues with right now in my life are men. That may be because I have very few female friends, (read two, one of whom is my sister). Others are people I went to high school and university with but we have lost touch and I can hardly call some of them friends, more like acquaintances. Anyway, so one of the men I blocked was disrespectful to me and I have generally have zero tolerance for disrespect. I am an energy person and if I read your energy towards me as off and downright disrespectful, I won’t even bother explaining myself to you. I just chuck the ✌🏽.

The second one is a dear friend whom I have known for years. Upon reflection, it was a minor issue that ended in me blocking him out of frustration. I asked him to come help me move some stuff and he said he would come the next day and he didn’t. I’m big on promises and people being reliable so I sent him an angry text and blocked him. I have since unblocked him because he explained that something came up, but my reaction made me think about the people in my life and what I expect from them and vice versa. I like to think that I contribute significantly to the lives of my friends and although I am not perfect, I’d like to think that I am very reliable. Why should I expect less from the people I call friends?

I have been disappointed with the people in my life for the bigger part of this month. I know relationships are hard, but there are some battles that are not worth fighting.

I want authentic relationships. I want people I can rely on. I don’t want to feel alone when I am surrounded by people. I know it is up to me; I should go where I am celebrated not tolerated. Does this mean I must find new connections? That’s hardly possible in this pandemic because I can’t even travel to new places at the moment. I can’t have new experiences that are non-virtual at the moment. I am not satisfied with online connections, try as I might. It just feels less real, if that makes sense. But that may be the only option for me until we move past the COVID restrictions on socialising.

I will use this time for further introspection on what I really want in my life. What kind of friend am I? I read somewhere that you attract what you are. Have I been giving off the wrong kind of energy lately that is bouncing negative energy right back at me? Who do I rely on when the people I’m supposed to trust disappoint me?

I will end with this verse from the Book that guides my life:

“Examine me, O Lord, and prove me; Try my mind and my heart.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭26:2‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

If there are any faults in me, help me to correct myself in case I’m the one in the wrong.

What do you think? Have you experienced a fallout with a friend or felt like you were getting the short end of the stick with your connections? How did you fix it? I would love to hear your story.


15 thoughts on “Taking inventory of my life: relationships

  1.  “I know relationships are hard, but there are some battles that are not worth fighting.”

    This is so true, i recently went through the same and i had to let go after fighting for the relationship to thrive for so long . I was tired of giving it my all yet I was receiving none

    I want authentic relationships.
    That is my life goal too

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I tolerate alot. I keep expecting more or better and I know I give my all in my relationships. But when I reach that place,that point of no return, that’s it. I walk away without a backward glance.
    I think we need to be respectful of our own selves to walk away from disrespectful situations.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree. We all should be our own best friends anyway, that way we will not tolerate disrespect because we are already enough. 💞


  3. Authentic friendships are difficult to be honest! I have had a fair share of struggle as well myself in this area especially over the last three years up until now, i think its a process, you win some you loose some but what’s important is never to let your heart grow cold and loose its warmth because someone else’s did.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. The good thing is that you stepped on the breaks and reflecting.

    But the world is tough and gloomy, just don’t expect a lot from people, then you will have real guarded in peace.

    With that, you can have many people in and around your life but at an arms length

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Relationships are important in life but it makes sense when those involved are giving mutually to the growth and existence of it.
    There’s nothing I detest like a one sided relationship where one party is constantly going out of their way to please the other. That’s parasitic!
    I’ll hastily use my scissors to do the needful.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Oh my God!
    He was so dear from the beginning (second guy) as he explained but you went ahead and blocked him.
    At least something to do with relationships is so big to take serious. Indeed you don’t have to feel alone yet you have many people around you.

    Thanks for sharing

    Liked by 2 people

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